Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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