apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Randomize
