dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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