I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
