I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
