Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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