we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
