Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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