ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
