do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
