I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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