maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize