I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
