No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize