I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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