and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
