singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
