hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
