Heybabeimwearingurpanties
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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