I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
