smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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