She's JV to your varsity
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
