It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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