mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize