Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
