the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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