There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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