Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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