Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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