I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
