Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
