oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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