I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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