Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
