There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
