it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I need a beard to bite.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
