i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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