Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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