i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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