Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
