I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
