so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
