GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
