end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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