I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
