You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
