Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
