Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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