Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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