I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It was confusing and full of hummus
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
