break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
