can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize