I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
