Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
