Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
