how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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