He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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