I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
birth control should be required to get into college
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
