? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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