i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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